It's Elementary, My Dear Banner
by PJAvengerFics
Summary: Bruce finds that Tony has suddenly attained a new interest in deductions. /Science Bros. Fairly light hearted but does contain adult humor


"Hey Tony, do you know where Clint ran off to? He was supposed to be here so I could teach him the basics of first aid." Doctor Bruce Banner stepped from the elevator onto one of the higher floors of and Stark Tower, glancing towards his billionaire friend who was sprawled across the couch, uncharacteristically holding a violin and tuning the strings.

"Clint? He told me he had some training that came up. But let's be realistic, it's clearly obvious that he ran off to have sex with Natasha." His eyes never left the wooden instrument as he plucked a string. This confused Bruce and he took a few steps further into the room while adjusting his glasses.

"What? Sex with Natasha? Why on Earth would you think that?" The doctor only gave a short glance towards his friend's new instrument but didn't bother putting forth any questions.

"I don't think anything. I _know_ they went off to have sex. And I know because I observed." Tony brought himself into a sitting position after speaking and looked at his friend with a large smile, slipping an old fashioned pipe from his pocket and placing it in the corner of his mouth. "It's elementary, my dear Banner." The smile grew.

"Oh god Tony not this again." The scientist gave a silent groan as his fingers rubbed into his temple. This wasn't the first time Tony tried something of this sort and Bruce was finding it completely ridiculous. "For the last time, you were _not_ Sherlock Holmes in a past life. He's a fictional character!"

"Ssshh Shh shhhh..." Tony's finger raised and waited for Bruce to be silent once again. "Aren't you going to ask how I know Clint is banging Natasha?" His pride was practically shining in his eyes and it didn't take any deductions to see he was having far too much enjoyment with this. And what kind of friend would Bruce be if he were to ruin his fun?

"Alright how do you know?"

"Simple." He begun in immediate response. "If you had been watching you would have noticed how temperamental, impatient, and emotional our dear friend Natasha has been acting. The same way she acts around the same time every month." He paused, glancing towards Bruce to be sure he was following.

"So she was on her period.." He played along.

"Precisely. Now that was nearly a week ago and I know Clint. He wouldn't want to be jumping on that bloody mess but going too long without sex can be a challenge. Now I'm guessing that Natasha would call Clint as soon as she's good to go which would make sense that it ended today going by when her first emotional outburst of PMS was, and after going so long without sex, there's no way Clint would wait for a first aid lesson when he didn't even want to take them in the first place."

"Wait hold on." Bruce cut in while removing his glasses. "You're getting all of this by _assuming _Natasha was on her period, making Clint sex deprived?" Though at first sounding doubtful, the scientist thought over Tony's rants of deductions in his head and looked back towards the billionaire. "Logical enough. Go on."

The words drew another narcissistic smile but Tony tried his best to hide it while keeping on his game face. "Not only that but when leaving Clint avoided eye contact entirely and appeared to be fidgeting before rushing into the elevator. So basically Bruce, you're oh so exciting lessons on first aid simply couldn't compare getting laid." He removed the pipe from his mouth, cleaning the tip on his shirt with an arrogant smirk.

"Wow umm... Alright then. So I shouldn't wait up for him?" Bruce didn't doubt that Stark's reasoning was more than likely true and he walked towards an armchair besides the couch, slumping down while giving a long sigh.

"He'll be staying the night." Stark's voice didn't change from its undoubtedly know-it-all tone as he promptly placed the violin beneath his chin, sloppily beginning to play a slow melody and waiting for Bruce to say what he wanted to hear. The doctor stared at Tony for a while as the melody progressed, pursing his lips and staying silent for a few more seconds.

"Alright fine. I admit you would make a pretty great Sherlock Holmes." He spoke truthfully though was mainly admitting his thoughts in hopes Tony would quit playing the violin.

"I told you." Cocky as always, Tony set down the stringed instrument and flashed his friend a grin. "But you know, Sherlock Holmes is always going to need the assistance of his favorite doctor and closest friend." His dark brown eyes only glanced for a brief second towards Bruce as he placed his pipe back into his mouth.

"Well..." The doctor started, leaning forward and propping his elbows upon his lap. "Where should we start Holmes?"

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**Another mini fic written by Pudding of Pudding and Jello's Avenger Fics. I couldn't resist the idea!**

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